I am still trying to work this out.
A fanatic, not especially gifted, kid becomes obsessed with blowing up Americans. He's put on a terrorist watch list that, apparently, no one is actually watching. His father, a respected banker, goes personally to the US Embassy to say son is a) a nut b) planning an attack. Bob (because I won't even try to spell his real name) goes to work. Like millions of travelers who have had their socks sniffed by the TSA since the "shoe bomber," Bob twigged that strapping the stuff to his feet is not tactically wise. So he straps the stuff to his genitals, betting (rightly) that, because no bomber had yet strapped explosives to his genitals, security will never look there. Yet, haven't we been told untold times that security is so good... so good... it can detect just molecules of explosives? Especially those that have been attempted before? (And, yes, I realize this security lapse did not happen at a TSA manned airport. It happened in Amsterdam, whose security system makes JFK's look like kindergarten traffic patrol. If this guy got through Amsterdam, he could have ridden through ATL naked in a pink Cadillac with an ICBM in the trunk). The result? Cynics guessed it immediately: 1) Nothing in your lap the last hour and no bathroom breaks. 2) See above. Here's my idea: 1) Oddball fanatics with a problem with the US, whose fathers have ratted them out, who are on terrorist watch lists, and who buy one-way tickets to Detroit (and who would do that, I ask you?) don't get to fly. Of course, my idea will never be adopted. It's too difficult. And I can tell you exactly how the next terrorist attempt will come down: The explosives will be hidden the left cheek of some nut-wad, who will try to set it off, unsuccessfully, just after takeoff. He will have his face burned, and you, friend, will never, ever chew gum again on an airplane. In the first hour, at least.Posted via web from Allan Jenkins
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